Anger: do you want to be right – or happy?

I’m right – you’re wrong!’

A key question to consider if you really would like to deal with the anger habit is:

Do you want to be right… or do you want to be happy?

Because, from our point of view, it is likely that much of our anger is quite justified: If the world ran according to my rules it would be a much better place – so who can blame me for feeling annoyed with the stupidity or thoughtlessness or lack of consideration of others; with their inability to see that my way is the best way…

That’s your viewpoint. And, of course, you sincerely believe that your way, your ideas, your values, etc. are the best ones.

And many other people feel the same about their views.

Yet we cannot all be right. Nor can we all engage in a daily battle to get the world to come around to our way. If we did there wouldn’t be much time for more pleasant things like having fun or enjoying life.

But they are all stupid, inconsiderate, selfish b*******

The world does not and will not run by any one person’s rules. (Mussolini tried it, and apparently got the trains in Italy to run on time, for a while, but he didn’t last too long.) The world will always be quite chaotic. That’s reality. There is no point in getting worked up about it. It is also a reality that the world is peopled by lots of people with (by our standards) rather crazy rules, values, and behaviours.

They will continue to drive their cars differently to us – and to have different views about what is or is not respectful behaviour, punctuality, tidiness, honesty, etc. Becoming angry is pointless because it changes nothing. Nor do we even have the right to change other people.

The ‘right or happy’ question

You may feel that you are in the right when you get angry. But the key question is: does it make you happy? Does it contribute towards your happiness and that of the people in your life?

Just think of the cost of your ongoing battle with disrespect, lack of consideration, carelessness, clumsiness, and so on!

Perhaps, like a lot of anger-habit people you have already done this yet your buttons are still being pressed. You are still being provoked by situations. You still lose your cool and sound off. And you still, afterwards, feel regret, remorse and self hatred.

So maybe it’s time to decide that there’s no time like now  – and begin the process of freeing yourself from your Short Fuse Habit.


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